The mysteries of urinary accuracy.

RANT

There's not many things that annoy me, (actually, who am I trying to kid here? Lots of things annoy me, but this one is a real pet peeve.....) but WTF is it with guys who can't manage to urinate without pissing on the floor/seat of the fkng toilet??? Our urinals at work are broken at present, so we're having to use the stalls. Every single one of them has a puddle of piss in front of it that you could just about fkng drown in! How the fk can you *possibly* miss a hole *that big*, while you're standing *right on top of it*?!??!

Is it just the fat bastards who can't see their own penis who are at fault here? Surely you don't need to be able to see it to know which way it's pointing?? I mean, *I* can manage to take a piss in pitch darkness in the middle of the night without hosing the place down and I don't think that makes me extraordinarily talented in any way, so that can't be it.

Perhaps it's the 'gotta shake the fk out of it like I'm being electrocuted' types? A tip for those guys.......did you not notice that roll of paper on the wall right next to you??

Public loos are even worse.....it's like everyone who uses them has a fkng lawn sprinkler attached to the end of their dick.

Maybe I need to get some signs made up and surreptitiously installed on the walls in there. "Don't Boast, Stand Close" or "If You Can't Slam Dunk It, Sit This One Out" would be a good start I reckon......fkng grubs......

/RANT